For my 6th birthday I got a hot wheels track(with a shitton of hot wheels cars), A megazord toy, and fucking '3 Ninjas' on videocassette. Now if you didn't watch it as a kid I hardly recommend watching it as entertainment cause frankly it's not cinema gold, but if you did happen to catch it at the same time you thought fart jokes were side splittingly hilarious then you should probably sit down and watch it again.
The story follows 3 kids (somewhat geeky eldest, badass wanna be, and a kid who isn't really fat but is treated like he has diabetes out the ass)who grew up around an FBI agent dad and a kung-fu grandpa. Some scuffle between the Dad, the grandpa, and a badguy with a ponytail lands the 3 kids in the middle of whatever the fuck the confrontation was. The bad guy decides to kidnap the kids using the best thugs he could find.Oh no wait...the bad guys trembling lacky is left to decide, and since all his good men are under surveillance he's forced to use his stoner nephew and his friends.
So hilarity ensues as the stoners go against the kids in the house. After some pepper spray, strong laxatives, and auto erotic exfictiation the bad guy with the ponytail decides to send some people who are actually qualified to kidnap kids over. They're taken to a huge submarine (or whatever the fuck it was),and a fight between good and evil happens. You can guess what the outcome was.
Although it has cheesy 90's movie written all over it I can't seem to shake how much it stuck with me. I mean after I hear the opening music I was able to remember minuscule things like the can radios on the bed and the mom alert light. It was just a great film to watch as a kid, and almost equally satisfying to watch grown up.
Rating:★ ★ ★ ☆☆ (3 stars)